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Next Time for Montenegro

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[David ends his overview of Group 8 with a quick look at Montenegro]

Montenegro have a point less than Cyprus. The last of the Yugoslav Republics to fall off the Serbian rump have not won a game in qualifying, though they have secured four draws. Montenegro are no pushovers. The World Champions could only beat their former “protectorate” 2-1 at home. (Italy were responsible for Montenegro’s other Group 8 defeat, 2-0 in Podgorica.)

If’s not inconceivable Montenegro could win their remaining four fixtures, but even that will probably not be enough to secure a 2nd place playoff position.

Montenegro promise to be a football fairytale in future qualification campaigns or a right proper nightmare for some. It’s the sort of place England go to and loose.

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Honorable Mention for Cyprus

Three defeats and three points behind third placed Bulgaria, Cyprus are not contenders. Yet, Cypriot footballers are a competitive bunch and cannot be dismissed just yet. What may seem as an exercise in improving their coefficient may suddenly ignite into a qualification campaign.

Cyprus have a game in hand over Ireland. They host Ireland next. The Irish are consistent and concede very little, but the Boys in Green are not so dominant that they can expect to prevail in the battle of divided European islands.

If Cyprus win, there may be more to say about them in September and October.

(This concludes our look at Group 8. Italy remain favorites to qualify. We will have more on Italy closer to the draw in Cape Town. Apparently the Antipodeans are still angry. Whatever. Fabio Grosso is a left back and a gentleman.)

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R.I.P. Bobby Robson



I met Bobby Robson once. It was a Tuesday night in the late 80s. I noticed him in the carpark at Anfield. He was fiddling with stuff in his boot. He was England’s manager at the time. England were awful as usual.

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Fruity Finals

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[Charged with breaking down the European qualifiers, David Patrick Lane takes a moment to tell us what he really thinks. Next Group 7. Serbia, France, and yes, our Austrian friends will soon make an appearance.]

The 1970 World Cup was a watershed moment for the modern game, if for no other reason than it was broadcast in color. Color TV sets were a newfangled invention then, though many folks have continued to watch World Cups as if they were taking place in snowstorms.

There have been 10 World Cups since 1970. That’s 40 different semi finalists. Yet only four have come from outside Europe.

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Players Who Won’t Be Missed in 2010 – Berbatov, Bulgaria

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Dimitar Berbatov has teased Tottenham and delighted dancing girls.  Now he has finally settled down. Manchester can be so moody in May.  The incumbent is pregnant.  Elena’s black Mercedes already has one of those baby-on-board stickers.  She zips around Sofia like Stoichkov.  Explosive, fast and unpredictable.  Legs right up to her fanny.  Daniela and Tedi are jealous.  Sofia whispers.  It’s the life of a modern footballer.

Lal Hardy, his tattoo artist in North London, swears up and down the No. 9 is a man of impeccable character and standing. UNICEF has bestowed an ambassadorship on the Bulgarian captain.  And Sir Alex seems both pleased and nonplussed at the same time.

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C’mon You Boys in Green – Ireland 2010

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We continue our look at European qualifiers.  Group 8 next.  (No Georgia in South Africa, their campaign tripped up by two overlapping Russian full backs, Sergei Ossetia and Igor Abkhazia.  Meanwhile, substitute Joe Biden has promised to help Georgia maintain their shape in future fixtures.)

Moving on from Iceland and up the index of heavily indebted and bank bollixed Western European nations, we turn to the Republic of Ireland.

Is there a term in the Gaeltacht for Catenaccio?  Does the Irish captain drink Jammy Donuts?  It seems applying classic football nomenclature or the current cult of celebrity to the Irish team somehow misses the point.

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What will happen in South Africa after the World Cup is over?

Christopher Merrett

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Football is often described as the “beautiful game”. Indeed, it is. As Michael Worsnip pointed out recently (The Witness, June 12), football on the local recreation ground reduces the possibility that young people will be tempted into crime. And, of course, South Africa will host a successful Fifa World Cup next year — if it tries hard enough. All of this is obvious. But what is crucially missing from public debate are a number of awkward political, economic and social questions.

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