Players Who Won’t Be Missed in 2010 – Berbatov, Bulgaria

David Patrick Lane — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 03:23:22 +0000

Dimitar Berbatov has teased Tottenham and delighted dancing girls. Now he has finally settled down. Manchester can be so moody in May. The incumbent is pregnant. Elena’s black Mercedes already has one of those baby-on-board stickers. She zips around Sofia like Stoichkov. Explosive, fast and unpredictable. Legs right up to her fanny. Daniela and Tedi are jealous. Sofia whispers. It’s the life of a modern footballer.

Lal Hardy, his tattoo artist in North London, swears up and down the No. 9 is a man of impeccable character and standing. UNICEF has bestowed an ambassadorship on the Bulgarian captain. And Sir Alex seems both pleased and nonplussed at the same time.

Bulgaria has played six and drawn five. The Ambassador has played four and scored none. It’s gotten to the point where I suspect some Bulgarians would be content if their Captain could just apply himself and secure at least one yellow card.

Bulgaria is not well placed to be in the Cape Town draw on December 4th. Will Bulgaria be missed? Probably not. Bulgaria has already been famous for fifteen minutes. The summer of 1994. Who can forget that angry bald man heading the winner against Germany somewhere in a field in New Jersey?

Actually Bulgaria has been famous for about half an hour. Forget about Stoichkov and Letchkov. Cast your minds back to Liverpool, 1966. It was the last time Garrincha and Pelé played together for Brazil. Bulgaria were the opponents. Both great men scored.

Will Berbatov be missed? By some Manchester United supporters in Manchuria, perhaps. But will he ever be missed in the way that Garrincha or Pelé have been missed.

No. Never.

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Players Who Won’t Be Missed in 2010 – Berbatov, Bulgaria